


Here Comes the Sun (and i say it's alright)

by drbubblegum



Category: Karneval
Genre: M/M, and then feels ridiculous, gareki thinks, maybe panics a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1982169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drbubblegum/pseuds/drbubblegum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night. Early morning, whatever. The point is it happens, and there’s nothing Gareki can do about it except wait to fall back asleep again and hope that he doesn’t dream he’s drowning again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Comes the Sun (and i say it's alright)

It’s not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night. Early morning, whatever. The point is it happens, and there’s nothing Gareki can do about it except wait to fall back asleep again and hope that he doesn’t dream he’s drowning again.

It’s stupid, but he wishes they would stop. Bad dreams are supposed to stop when you sleep in someone else’s bed, wrapped up in that person. Fiction isn’t his normal preference, but the stories he has read have all told him this. But maybe that’s why they’re fiction. Because the dreams haven’t stopped, not even with the steady breath and warmth of Yogi tucked into his neck.

He’s still not sure how Yogi manages to curl himself up that small. Someone that obnoxiously tall should  _not_  be able to fit himself so happily under Gareki’s chin. Still, it’s nice. Gareki likes the heavy weight of Yogi’s arm on top of him. Because even if he does still dream of waves and lightning, he doesn’t wake up not remembering how to breathe anymore. And that’s better than nothing.

Gareki lets out a slow breath, staring at the ceiling. It reminds him of a bruise, grey and blue and black, brighter where the light from the window hits it. It’s been a while since he’s had any. On his knees from pulling potatoes out of Tsubaki’s garden all day, on his knuckles from getting into a fight with Yotaka, on his neck from the guy who got off only when Gareki couldn’t breathe, on his back from getting knocked on his ass by the fake Varuga machines at school.

Yeah, a while.

He’s gone soft.

Yogi makes a sleepy noise, burrowing a little closer. Gareki lets his head fall a little to rest his cheek on Yogi’s hair. His eyes close and he breathes in.

Definitely soft. But he can think of worse things than being used to this.

He doesn’t try. Just breathes and relaxes into something close to sleep again.

The room is darker when he wakes up again. Clouds probably, seeing as he and Yogi are so tangled up together, Gareki can’t even tell which leg is his without thinking hard. He grumbles a little, shifting to try and find a little breathing room.

Except Yogi just wriggles with him, making it a hopeless cause. Gareki grumbles a little louder. And Yogi laughs, quiet and high.

Gareki freezes, wide awake now. He knows that laugh. He  _knows_  it.

And he hates it.

He pulls back. Sharp. Not blinking. Hoping the clouds will move and the moon will shine down through the window and nothing will glint. It doesn’t, and in the dark, Gareki can’t tell if Yogi’s hair is gold or silver.

Breathe. He needs to remind himself, but he can’t manage anything better than shaky and shallow. The second stretches into a minute. All Gareki can hear is his own heart pounding. He finds himself thinking, please please please  _don’t_  be him, that  _other_ — Gareki swallows. He waits. 

And it’s still too dark to tell. Not without waking Yogi up to see if his eyes gleam red.

It’s not that he’s  _scared_ , or so he keeps telling himself, trying to get his heartbeat to stop sounding so loud. It’s just self-preservation. Because that other side doesn’t understand no, and it’s far, far too vicious to be the same Yogi that’s been sleeping on his chest all night. Gareki just can’t connect the two. After all, it’s one thing to understand that there’s something horrible lurking behind every smile, but it’s another thing entirely to be  _okay_  with that.

Gareki finds he’s not. He’s not at all. He just can’t quite accept that when Yogi’s hair is silver and his laugh is shrill and too loud, that he’s the same Yogi who draws on the walls and kisses him soft and sweet.

Stupid, he’s being  _so_  stupid. It’s just that Yogi is the first person he’s let himself rely on, one of the few he  _trusts_ , and the thought that maybe it’s  _not_  that same person tucked under his chin makes it hard for Gareki to function.

Carefully, he lifts a curl of Yogi’s hair, hoping to see just how light it is in the muted moonlight, trying to see the little white patch on his cheek. The new angle doesn’t change anything, but Yogi pushes back under Gareki’s chin, murmuring Gareki’s name.

Gareki finally remembers how to breathe.

Yogi. It’s Yogi.  _His_  Yogi.

He drops his hand to Yogi’s shoulder, fingers digging into him like they think they can anchor the right Yogi there. It’s so stupid. Panicking like that, even for a moment—shit, he’s an  _idiot_. His hand slides into Yogi’s hair, and Gareki breathes in deep.

Sunshine, he smells like fucking  _sunshine_. Ridiculous. Incredible. Amazing even.

"Yogi," he says as he pushes his hair around idly. " _Yogi._ ”

And maybe it’s because it’s almost time for Yogi’s alarm to go off anyway, but Gareki feels Yogi’s face scrunch against his neck almost immediately. Yogi whines quietly, not even attempting to move from where he is.

Gareki tries again. “ _Yogi._ ”

"Mmn."

"Come on, wake up."

"Gareki- _kun_ …”

Gareki smiles and rolls his chin against Yogi’s head. Yogi grumbles, pulls back and gives him the grumpiest, sleepiest pout Gareki’s  _ever_  seen. His grin widens. Yogi’s face softens almost instantly, eyes unfogging a little and almost glowing.

Or maybe that was just the predawn light finally filtering through the window, reflecting in gold gold hair and violet eyes shining brighter than the sun. Gareki rolls onto his side to press their foreheads together. And he just breathes.

**Author's Note:**

> [On tumblr.](http://drbubblegum.tumblr.com/post/80851122204)


End file.
